What is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year is too often a source of disappointment and frustration instead of joy for thousands of couples.
Valentine’s Day usually brings expectations for women who are in a relationship. They may anticipate gifts of chocolates, romantic cards, and secret reservations in trendy restaurants.
Instead many men have psychological blocks that keep them from being more romantic. Consequently these men may do little or nothing special for their partners for Valentine’s Day.
The reasons male partners have trouble with romance include:
1. A man may not be aware of how important romance is to his woman. He may not fully appreciate that men and women have different needs in this area.
2. Some males simply don’t know what to do. A man may not have seen his father model romantic behavior when he was growing up. Consequently he never developed courting skills.
3. The man might simply be lazy. He may have lapsed into complacency in the relationship and assumes that he doesn’t really have to do anything extra to keep the relationship going.
4. Some men have trouble expressing feelings. They may carry around unresolved anger toward their partners. Anger can turn into resentment and passive aggressive behavior toward the woman.
5. The man may be struggling with addictions. Compulsions like alcohol or drug abuse, sexual addiction or gambling provide an escape that lets him avoid dealing with the demands of maintaining a successful relationship.
6. A man may feel deprived in the bedroom. He might be thinking “When she’s ready to satisfy me more often, then I’ll be more romantic.”
7. Some partners procrastinate. A husband may put off buying flowers or making a restaurant reservation until it’s too late.
8. The man may be afraid of trying to be romantic. This is particularly true when his woman is often critical of him. In this case, he may think “What’s the use? I can never please her. Why even try?”
Lee Hefner is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com.